It’s an open door!

Diary of a 25 year-old Freethinker

I feel like I am reborn! Things have changed for me! I never felt so free as I feel now! I am very grateful for everything that is happening! I do not want to fight against it. There is no fight. I just want to do what feels right in my heart and create a balance with what feels to be true to me. Like that I live a simple life that creates and recreates episodes of joy, happiness, love, freedom.

I remember when I was a kid, there was a pressure to pursue a certain path to fit in this society. We kids, back to my school, had to learn the same books, studied the same subjects, and get good qualification to pass the year. A method in the education system that repeat, year after year, the education was more intense as well as the weight of the books on my bag pack.

Now I see how much impact that had on me as individue. What a pressure, for a child that is building up their uniqueness, exploring their hidden gifts, to have to fit along the other kids. I just had to do it, I had to be good enough to be able to live, or survive, to get a job in this society. Collaborating with a system that I wasn’t meant to question. Thankfully I have been curious enough to question and sensitive enough to know that life wasn’t meant to be like that.

I did university in UK, that was a challenge, the beginning of the experience of what a real life in this society system really means. I felt a lot of pressure. Work to pay my bills, try to get a bit of spare money for my food, materials for university projects, and maybe a night out. The first two years were hard, there was no night out or time to socialize, life was to expensive for that. So I had many lonely times, felt left out. It was similar to the lock down. Not going out, not many people around, just me with me, looking back remembering those times that I used to have friends and go out at night. I did lots of sacrifices to my body and my soul just to try to fit in and grow in this society.

Finished university and life didn’t seem to get better. They say that with a diploma we get jobs easily. Well, I kept working in restaurants because I already had experience which make it easier to get job in that area.

Already in Portugal, pandemic arrived. Lost my job and after lock down went to Netherlands to work in industry. I needed money to live my dreams and conquer my goals. Than I saw all the agenda happening, an agenda that I knew from past research, talks, debates, and share thought with my friends at high school. We all deep down knew that this world was been leaded by someone or something and that was leading us all to the same place in this society.

Is with that realization that the break trough happen. After many years of suffering in society hands, I couldn’t cooperate with this any more. I saw, and felt my little freedom in this system been taken away. I couldn’t choose what side of the path walk I wanted to take, I had to follow a arrow. I did had to take temperature body everyday before I began my job. I had to give all my details of where I am from, where I was living, with who, while I was travelling trough Poland, Italy and Greece.

It got to the point that not even my dreams and goals had that much importance comparing to the lack of freedom that I was felling. Specially after experience all this pressure during so many years of my life.

I left my job, I left Netherlands. From morning to night, I bought a ticket to Portugal. In one week, I end up living in a caravan in a friends land. The only thing I knew, there was a waterfall around I would be living in a land. After some time, I got a job at a café to save some money and keep me living. Life kept presenting me with many opportunities and I jumped house in house.

Finally I got to work to the community, as I see it now. What life is this one that we work together and support each other?! Where the exchange of work can be many things?! Wherever is needed on the moment. I didn’t knew this life.

I see now, a small economic system growing along with community around me. I see work in the land, and peaceful makers creating a reality. I see kids growing along nature with no society path taken, they literally have the world on their hands to explore their natural gifts and hidden powers to build a better world. As they are fresh seeds not being manipulated by a system.

I am still learning with this new life, working on the let go and trust in the universe. As it gives me always what I need.
I do have to give value to myself for the courage to open my heart, to live my true, to let go expectations from life and let life happen to me. I do not have a “future” any more. There is only the present moment. The future is something unexpected, is something that I never experienced. I believe, as a spirit having human experience, the future is not my concern but a universe path. It took me a lot of inner work and lonely times, that I am very grateful for, to get me to this state of mind.

I feel my soul dancing in the path that feels right. Surrounded by nature I do lose the sense of time, the sense of reality that I knew.
Now, I am in between this two worlds, one foot in the system, taking advantage of it to work in my favour and gratitude for what it can give me. Another foot out, to create a world of harmony with the community and nature. After all, what I know is what I do not want to be or have, and that is a slavery life and a empty soul.

I choose to give time and space to my mind to feel the peace from the light, re-connecting with the roots and tune in, again, with the source. I accept that not all of my family and friends will follow the same mind set, as their mind have been manipulated. And move on without attachment, and a stronger emotional body.

Love and Light, Duda